Happiness. Really?

Freedom is having your own laptop. Freedom is being able to sit in the window pane. As the heavens open up. Gentle sprinkles on my face. Goosebumps on my neck. Fogged windows by my side. The night sky looks amber. The palm trees dance like I never can. Swaying. Effortless. I want to sway with them. "Love was just a glance away, one embracing dance away", sings Sinatra. I cant help but smile.

Freedom is happiness. Choices are detrimental to happiness, says the TED vid guy.Paradoxical, yes. Once you are stuck in a situation with no alternate, you grow to get more content with it is what he says. Damn these guys can talk. But I like me choices. Happiness, notwithstanding. I like me freedom to choose. But I also like happiness. And yet see so little of it. It's like happiness is my mistress, unsurity my wife.

The comp jumps to a new song. "khoya khoya chand,khula aasmaan; aankhon mein saari raat jayegii, humko bhi kaise neend aayege."  I just want to dance now. Sway uninhibited. Unabashedly. Smile.

For I am with my mistress now.

Rock Bottom

Rockbottom.

So this is what it feels like.

The requiem for all that was good.

The end of all hope.

And it all falls down - your world.

And your life comes tumbling after. Your dreams transcend into nightmares. Insanity grips you. All seems lost.

Isolation.

Helplessness.

Tears.

And then it gets worse.